Facebook is the End of Humanity
This was originally published by me on May 3, 2007.
Facebook is the End of Humanity.
There, I said it, now we have to live with it.
For those of you who know me, you know that I am a man of my word. I am not a good person, but I am honest and virtuous. Maybe, kinda and sorta don’t exist in my vocabulary, and that’s sorta one of my best features. Maybe it’s why I’m kinda the best at what I do? Entirely possible.
Sometimes it takes a real man to listen to someone’s pain. I get to do it on a daily basis, oftentimes not by my own admission. Today’s life-threatening terrorist force comes not from the Middle East, but from your very own computer screen. It’s called Facebook, and it’s going to ruin your life – if it hasn’t already.
The beginning of the end…
I’ll explain how Facebook works in the most honest terms you’ll come across:
-You sign up for an account. You put in some bullshit quotes and little blurbs about yourself, like you were making a singles ad. You are in a way, because you’re about to whore yourself out to the lowest bidder.
-You include pictures of yourself. You only pick the “best” ones. You also include every single picture you’ve ever appeared in, just to show strangers how outgoing you are. Girls will show off their body and clothes, and guys will show off their cars and the girls who just made a profile. They know you. They went to school with you. They own the right to be in the same picture as you, because they are popular.
-You include every aspect of your personal and professional life on the profile. Your schools, where you work, your relatives, address, phone number – anything you would be terrified of if someone got a hold of. Don’t be afraid though, this is the Internet! No bad people on the Internet to abuse the system, ever.
-You start looking up your friends. You know, those people who sometimes call your name if you’re in viewing range. Once you see their Facebook profile, you add their friends, because shit – you’re FRIENDS too.
-You look up the definition of the word ‘friend’ and realize you are so very fucking wrong
-You start to join the ‘clubs’ or groups of people with similar interests. No need to look hard though, there’s a group for everything. You can even make your own. You are now “An employee of Dunder-Mifflin!” but what about the other 37 groups with the same name? Dunder-Mifflin must have a lot of branches, then. +1 to originality.
-You friend writes on your “wall.” They say something meaningful like “OMG I haven’t seen you in ages! We gotta hang out soon!” Weird, eh? Last time I checked I hung out with my friends all the time. In fact, we were having so much fun hanging out that we forgot to not see each other in ages.
-This little light bulb goes off in your head about every person you’ve ever met. Is my ex-boyfriend on Facebook? How about that boy that sexually assaulted me? How about my abusive uncle? Wow, they’re all here! I can’t wait for them to know my every waking moment thanks to my friends writing on my wall about every breath I take.
-You start adding everyone, ever. You try to complete your entire high school by clicking every fucking piece of blue text imaginable. You feel so liberated when that bully that beat you up apologizes 9 years too late. It’s so easy to apologize over the Internet than it is to be a real person and do it in person with some heart and soul.
-You begin to electronically stalk your friends and people you hate. You can’t stop checking their profile on a daily basis. You start to feel nauseous when you’re waiting for their weekend pictures to be posted on Monday. You get butterflies when you start to see their innermost personal life displayed for all to see. You don’t notice you’re a victim too, since there’s no way to track who’s looking at yours.
-You can’t sleep at night until you check every profile ever. You start to get a slight buzz when you find out that your worst enemy hurt themselves while on vacation. You get chills down your spine when you hear the pity in their writing and you like it.
-You start to use Facebook wall writing as a substitute for MSN Messenger and email. You write very personal plans and thoughts to your ‘friends.’ Funny, if you wrote any of that stuff in an email and someone read it, you’d be mortified and feel violated. You equate wall writing to leaving “voicemail”. Since everyone else is addicted to Facebook, of course they’re going to see it in minutes.
-You don’t remember the last time you spoke to a friend on the phone. Why bother? Facebook is 24/7 free and no long distance. Voice? What’s that? You can hear their voice in their pictures of them holding their drinks. You can, can’t you…?
-You start using Facebook as a filtering service for your entire life. You start to judge people’s worth based on their profile. How many books they have read? What do they listen to? Is their life quote deep or just funny? Does it change every day? Oh my god, this person likes dogs too! Must be a great person…!
-You start to wonder who’s watching your profile. You make changes to your profile to appeal to everyone alive. You become a generic version of yourself. You’re afraid to express yourself because maybe…JUST maybe the love of your life will hate you because you don’t like dogs. You now love dogs. You love everything. Everything you hate is now “all right!” and everything you love is now “cool.” Spread yourself thin, because that’s the way to bring people closer to you.
-You notice that Cindy has 137 friends. You’re a few short of that number, so you start adding your cousin’s school friends. Seems logical, seeing as you’re both alive and on the same planet
-You run into someone you Facebook with in real life. They start to tell you about their life and events, but you already know everything. Who needs human contact and conversation anyway? Seems useless, you can barely listen to mp3s while talking at a bar. That Gwen Stefani’s not gonna listen to itself, you know. This person you barely know is now congratulating you on your new job. Seems totally appropriate, seeing as they don’t know what fucking colour your eyes are, or, you know, anything else.
-You read something on some website that says that if you spent as much time on Wikipedia as you did on Facebook, you’d be one of the most knowledgeable people alive and actually contribute to society
-Your attraction to the opposite sex quadruples. Guys that have no balls or personal skills are now chatting you up on Facebook. They’ve seen you drunk in pictures and now they want to be beside you. You love the attention and check your profile every chance you get. You have just found the ultimate dating service – the kind that violates every privacy act and human rights issue known to man.
-You don’t remember that last time you used MSN Messenger thanks to Facebook. You always login on invisible mode, so you don’t have to talk to anyone. You decided that MSN is just a great address book for people you hate. You read somewhere that you should delete people you don’t talk to, but then the list would be 4 people long! The horror! There’s no need to address your insecurities about your social life, really.
-You start to believe your own Facebook profile. You become more fake and more ‘fake outgoing.’ You change your little status message to alert everyone about your Cuba vacation and any every fucking minutia imaginable. The best part is that since anyone can read this, thieves know what you’re up to and break into your house without incident. The insurance company laughs at you and calls you an idiot. I am not far behind.
-You die, finally. No one notices because you weren’t there to post that as your status message. The end.
I hope you’re beginning to see the light. This is your life, and it’s ending one click at a time. Facebook brings out the worst in people. You put so much time and energy into something that makes you a worse person. Do you WANT this? I’m surprised you’ve made it this far into the article without changing tabs to check if someone wrote on your wall… I no longer have a Facebook account. Mine lasted all of 12 hours before I came to my fucking senses. People kept adding me, writing messages, asking me computer questions, flirting…go away. I don’t know you, and I don’t want to. You didn’t talk to me years ago, you have no right to talk to me now. I will not make an account. Your pretty little ‘school collection’ will never be complete without me. You will not be my buddy, and I will not ask your girlfriend about her new job. You won’t see me there, period. I am a popular dude on the Internet, but my private life is just that. You will not know things about me, and that’s how I like it. Privacy is the ultimate freedom that we are granted in life, and you fools are giving it away.
You know you’ve made it in life when the band takes a picture of you. What concert was I at? You’ll never know, asshole, because you are not my friend
I want to be able to meet someone new and learn about them as nature intended. Ever occur to you that Facebook has a more complete and dynamic personnel tracking system than the CIA does? Works really well if you’re a total loser and have no social skills. Yep, I went there. I can’t even recall the amount of times I’ve been told this story: Boyfriend breaks into girlfriend’s Facebook account (born in what city? Super! Thanks!) and realizes that lots of guys are flirting with her. She sends them playful messages because everyone is a whore online. They have a fight in real life (remember that?) and hilarity ensues. They change passwords, trust issues, betrayal, etc etc etc Othello dies. You can substitute any gender and any situation, but it happens all the time. Here’s an idea – grow the fuck up! Stop sneaking around and flirting with everyone with a heartbeat. Have some dignity, please. You are not a socialite all of a sudden. You are not busy. You work the same 8 hours a day as everyone else. The other 16 hours you’re allowed to be honest with yourself and not put on a poorly-acted play for everyone else you secretly hate and/or want to bang. Pick up the phone, call a friend, go do something and don’t take 112 pictures of it to put on Facebook. Seriously. I’m not old fashioned, I’m not a shut-in – I just want all of you to know what you’re doing, since most of you are too dense to figure it out on your own.
I can post this because my mommy doesn’t use Facebook either
I, as a human being, implore you to stop using Facebook. Delete your account. You’ll be surprised when no one even notices. It is one of the most evil devices ever created and it’s destroying your life. You are hopelessly addicted and it will be the end of your natural life. I guarantee if you can make it 2 weeks without it, your life will become better in every way. Please share this article with everyone and see if it raises any concern – you’ll be surprised. And ashamed…and you should be.
If you enjoyed this article then you will LOVE this one. One of the most popular things on the Internet today!
Great article. Now every time some clown asks the question “OMG! What’s wrong with you?? You don’t have a FACEBOOK account??”… i can just email them this link rather than wasting my time trying to explain it.
Regards, from a fellow cheap canadian beer drinker.
Oh dear, I’m now ashamed to have Facebook, and glad they’ve blocked it at work!
Another V2 upgrade, although in most areas, I’m far superior anyway.
This is awesome but I think you have no friends and thats why you hate it.
I think the point is that you have no friends. His are apparently invisible.
I read this forever ago. I think it was on digg or something. I even posted it on my facebook, hell, it’s still there.
Tommy v2, you are my hero.
Great article,dude.It is playfully sarcastic.This encompasses ALL social networking websites;another way for the powers that be to track you online.I’m glad i can resist the urge to join them.Paranioa can be your friend.
good.
YOu could never pace up….Facebook has now changed to Orkut.com which host around 2 billion people worldwide.
now if only you were friends with those 2 billion people….
clicking 388 times every 30 seconds it’ll only take you…the next 7 years without sleep…
This is really an excellent article. Mr Orwell would be proud!
I’m going through the process of finding a list of good articles with clear arguments against facebook.
You could also add a little more detail on the database that Facebook are generating. How secure is it? What info is collected? What is that info used for?
Ask yourself – why is it free to use a product that is worth $x billion?
A great piece of writing.
Try “deactivating” your account….
Anyone remember: 2001 A space odyssey
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell’d you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
I’m so, so, so sorry for you
most of what you say is true, but… this kind of websites are to keep in touch with friends or family, share some pictures of personal moments…
if you are STUPID enough to add people you don’t know to your friends, that is YOU being STUPID.
you should try to get laid more often
This is FANTASTIC!!! My thoughts exactly! I’ve used some of your “reasonings” to deter people from using Facebook, and they think I’m an idiot. Ha. No way. I’m not the only one with common sense.
These are not good reasons to hate facebook.
Facebook is very usefull and addictive and i really like it.
But i can’t stop thinking about the evil programs it could be if someone (like government or whatever) wanted to list all the persons, religious, sexual orientation, personal data etc.
Big brother is watching you, using facebook lens, they don’t have to monitor you, you do that by yourself. Facebook became a self-monitoring tool.
Anyway, it’s a good way to keep contact and it does not replace reality, this article is bullshit.
it would be a better program if you could be sure that nobody can see your informations (excepted your friends). Take a look to the Wuala program.
You just said it’s “addictive.” Nothing addictive is good for you. I’m glad you live your life needing something you can’t control or stop. Good luck with that.
sex is addictive too.
Agreed. And there are a lot of people getting pregnant and diseased from that. It’s not quite the same thing for both genders since women decide the act of sex. For women sex can be an addiction, for men sex can’t happen often enough.
haha
Great article. Or IS it? Yep it is. Great article.
i don’t wanted to start a new thread, just show us that “Nothing addictive is good for you” is stupid. speaking back about Facebook, i don’t want to defend it, just said that “Facebook transform people into generic” is quiet stupid.
Once again, did you took a look to Wuala project, really interesting.
Dude i knew something was wrong with that shit and you have make it complete clear right now, that fuckin profile will not survive this day
I made this picture a while ago to bitch about something facebook-related. Care to use it instead of that shitty crossed-through logo?
http://img393.imageshack.us/my.php?image=facebookpaperqz8.jpg
I agree that facebook is turning a bit into myspace, but as one of the few people who actually got one before it was open to students in high school, I actually experienced facebook as a networking tool and it worked quite well for me. Some of my good friends that I know now are actually from facebook (but it’s true that we talk in REAL LIFE, not on facebook)…Anyway, I think the problem with facebook shouldn’t be so much with facebook itself but with the people who are using it.
Bastante Pelotudo!
Brilliant¡
My thoughts exactly on the matter.
A few weeks ago I posted something similar on my blog, Im glad some people think the same as me. *relief*
great article
these have been my thoughts (and arguments to people TELLING me “you’ve GOT TO get on facebook”) for about a year. what ever happened to going out with friends, people having house parties etc.? Now everyone just pretends to socialise with friends, and stalks everyone else. Its scary. and i always think about people looking you and your friends up when you apply for jobs!! all they need is your name.
well done tommy v2, you’ve reaffirmed my beliefs. haha
HAHA I love your article man. Very humourist approach, although it is unfortunate to say that everything you have mentioned is based on reality. A girl asked me the other day (after telling her I deleted facebook): “how do you live without it?”…I told her that it was simple, just like we lived before it existed…
This is brilliant. Over the past few months, I’ve had sleepless nights about facebook. I get up for work at 6am and check facebook…I didn’t understand why I was having all this agita but then I googled “facebook is evil” and I saw your post. It sums it up so well. Basically I realized, I was in a popularity contest, and competing with people to come up with the most creative status update. Then after I wrote an update, I’d keep checking it to see if anyone else thought it was cool and wrote on my wall….it was endless…then there was the adding friends/ex boyfriends who I didn’t want on there….once I deactivated, I felt like I had a rebirth
))). I actually activated it again today but deleted all my postings, pictures etc and kept it to keep in touch with 3 or 4 friends that live in another country who I don’t speak to that often….that seems more genuine. I made my profile super private so only those friends can see me and I’m not looking to add anyone else or show off to anyone else. I don’t feel the need to do any status updates with them anymore–it’ll just be nice to log on every once in a while and see pics of their families.
Thanks!!!!
Haha this article is amazing. True in every way.
I have a problem though! My girlfriend (facebook addict) created a profile for me against my will and adds pictures, comments etc! what should i do?
to Rik….delete it!
i am the papi chulo I will show you the end of your kind just come to me your your mater
I COMPLETELY agree with facebook being evil and addictive. I the way people go on and on obviously not telling the truth about their lives is stupid and pathetic. Deactivate, you will feel better. You don’t even realize how bad it is until it’s gone and you can think clearly again. Remember this, there is a reason you didn’t stay in contact with 90% of your “facebook friends”!
Good job man… Good job..
I totally agree, I have read every bit of this page and it is all absolutely true, I do have a facebook account, from when it first started, i never log on anymore, so I say i don’t, and when people ask me “are you on facebook” I say no and start telling them why I don’t like it and they think i’m some sort of wierd outcast because I don’t use facebook
One of my friends was talking about facebook and somehow got talking about a group they had joined which was against the UK government issuing everyone with ID cards, saying on this group that the government will have too much information about them – I just laughed and said but you put every minute of your life on facebook so EVERYONE has personal details about you, never mind the government you are crazy!
I am really against facebook I am just so happy now that there are others out there that agree, IT MUST BE STOPPED SHUT DOWN FACEBOOK NOW
Check out this youtube vid, the facebook anthem, brilliant!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZzP_69ZTFk
lol, I also googled “facebook is evil” and got a hit on this site-no one should have that much info about you, period. and I tend to overshare anyway..just deactivated my account. Although, I have to say that it was useful on a certain level; I’m an actor,it is a good networking tool, but..fuck that. no one needs to know the VERY MINUTE I book something. lots of jealous motherfuckers out there will use your “open book” of a life against you..keep everything on the low.
fucking love it. great article. i am never logging into my account again. fucking facbook. bleeugh.
You, my friend, are a genius. Your writing is full of truth, and ever so flawlessly presented. Kudos to you.
Just deactivated ! the problem is all I need to do is log on as normal and I can reactivate – Once you are on facebook, you can never leave
Excellent Article, not one word falsely typed.
Everyone i know has around 500+ people added onto their windows live messenger accounts and i think mathematicians are having to INVENT numbers to count the amount of “friends” some have added on Bebo; Myspace and Facebook!
The day we are finally free is the day that this disgusting trio is erased from our beloved compendium of human knowledge. A viable option is a massive boycott of these sites?
I miss the good old days when people were themselves and weren’t just statistics and hobbies.
It’s brought about a new species of human, a subclass, one that likes everything and at the same time hates everything, and simply agrees to whatever comment is made.
The human soul is being factory packed, classed and sealed.
facebook’s not the problem. people are. people suck. they can make anything they participate in, suck too.
Great article dude. Deleted my account months ago I really saw what it did to people so I fully understand what you are saying and I agree. I’m glad that I read this because I’ve kinda found it difficult to tell people why it sux so much, but you just putted it all into words, and I’ll spread it out for sure!
GJ
//im out
People talk about it being a tracking tool, but as far as I can see, if you’ve not nothing to hide there is no problem. I do accept the addiction argument though.
Brilliant article!
“…but my private life is just that. You will not know things about me, and that’s how I like it. Privacy is the ultimate freedom that we are granted in life, and you fools are giving it away.”
Such a powerful statement. I hope this gets through to people.
Well, what can you say about that, except, genius, pure genius. Communication is getting easier, the downside is that it is so easy for what you think is a bit of harmless fun, to turn into something that destroys peoples lives.
People need to take responsibility for their actions and decide if what they are doing is the right thing to do, or another way to look at it is, how would you feel if what you are about to write to someone was written to someone else by your partner.
How might that make you feel, and if you think that thing would devastate you then I suggest you don’t send it, then take yourself outside for a good stern talking too as you are risking way to much for such little gain.
Do I sound in pain? Has facebook ruined my life? oh yes indeedy, hate the bloody thing as I was on the receiving end of seeing something I really wish I hadn’t!!
I could not agree more with your page on facebook. In fact I have bloged your page and got a huge response, hopefully you will be getting more visitors on your page soon.
One of my friends who put an excerpt from your list got warned by the facebook administration within 5 minutes!!! Isn’t that crazy or what!!
Anyways great post, I am not your friend,
Dimitri
How the fuck I’m not rich and famous for writing this, I’ll never know. That bothers me. This is probably the most important, most entertaining, most profound piece of Internet writing in the last 4 years. Where’s my book deal? Where are the endorsements?
I wish the Facebook people paid me off to take this down. I wish.
I have a crush on u. Ure so me but am on facebook coz its my social life. Id like to marry a white guy and im goin 2 meet him online coz where am at therez no white people. I think we are all grown individuals who got control over our lives. I like facebook, being a globe trotter its the only way to be intouch with people ive met around the continents!
1. -You can’t sleep at night until you check every profile ever. You start to get a slight buzz when you find out that your worst enemy hurt themselves while on vacation. You get chills down your spine when you hear the pity in their writing and you like it.???
Seems very obsessive indeed but I haven’t experienced this…?
2. -You start to use Facebook wall writing as a substitute for MSN Messenger and email. You write very personal plans and thoughts to your ‘friends.’ Funny, if you wrote any of that stuff in an email and someone read it, you’d be mortified and feel violated. You equate wall writing to leaving “voicemail”. Since everyone else is addicted to Facebook, of course they’re going to see it in minutes.
Uhm, When you have something personal to write, you write it in a message on facebook as this isn’t displayed and counts as a normal email…
3. -You start using Facebook as a filtering service for your entire life. You start to judge people’s worth based on their profile. How many books they have read? What do they listen to? Is their life quote deep or just funny? Does it change every day? Oh my god, this person likes dogs too! Must be a great person…!
I understand that some people are limited in their thinking capacity but no need to generalize.
4. -You start to wonder who’s watching your profile. You make changes to your profile to appeal to everyone alive
Oh comoon, when you’re chatting (live) to a hot chick in a bar, you also say you like dogs while you actually don’t…
5. -You read something on some website that says that if you spent as much time on Wikipedia as you did on Facebook, you’d be one of the most knowledgeable people alive and actually contribute to society
Wikipedia is interesting but very biased.
6. -Your attraction to the opposite sex quadruples. Guys that have no balls or personal skills are now chatting you up on Facebook. They’ve seen you drunk in pictures and now they want to be beside you. You love the attention and check your profile every chance you get. You have just found the ultimate dating service – the kind that violates every privacy act and human rights issue known to man.
Don’t forget it is your choice of using it. You don’t have to… Satellite tracking, Illegaly listening to phone calls, spying etc are privacy violators and the ones who perform those the most are our beloved governments.
7. -You don’t remember that last time you used MSN Messenger thanks to Facebook.
Do you work for MSN Messenger or something because when it became famous I remember someone commenting on that aswell as the end of the world. You’re biased yourself. Or be completely against cyber social communication or you aren’t but you can’t spit on the devil and dance with Damien.
8. You read somewhere that you should delete people you don’t talk to, but then the list would be 4 people long! The horror! There’s no need to address your insecurities about your social life, really.
Maybe you only having 4 friends is the main issue here…?
9. -You start to believe your own Facebook profile. You become more fake and more ‘fake outgoing.’ You change your little status message to alert everyone about your Cuba vacation and any every fucking minutia imaginable. The best part is that since anyone can read this, thieves know what you’re up to and break into your house without incident. The insurance company laughs at you and calls you an idiot. I am not far behind.
Wowowow…, Americanization is the main source of the fakeness amongst societies. It’s not facebook that makes you fake it’s just fake people using facebook.
And euhm you do only add people you know/ trust, of you add unknown people you’re an idiot and yes then I’d agree with you.
10. Mine lasted all of 12 hours before I came to my fucking senses.
Well you can’t identify your enemy or assault someone without decent research. Maybe that’s why your arguments SUCK!
11. Seriously. I’m not old fashioned, I’m not a shut-in – I just want all of you to know what you’re doing, since most of you are too dense to figure it out on your own.
I doubt if you really aren’t. You made your statement, fine but I must say I feel asif you’re targeting a niche of a specific country. I do think it is important that winers like you once in a while make statements like this as it keeps people a bit more alert but I hope your new religion won’t have too many followers as it is more biased than Scientology and Christianity put together.
I will keep on using facebook as it is easy to bring people together and increase our social skills and lives. I like meeting new people so if I find and old friend I will add him and if we get along again maybe meet up and who knows you could have met a new best friend. Be open to new stuff. Facebook is a dangerous tools which has to be used with caution but it’s not in the hands of 1 person, it’s in the hands of the people so they do with their profile whatever they want.
I do love the pics you chose to support your argument as they truly are ridiculous.
Excuse some of the language but foul and strong words often intensify the readers attention. And as you noticed English isn’t my first language so don’t be a d*ckhead and attack me on vocab and grammar.
ps: don’t forget this is your kingdom of heaven so all your little fans will attack me as I’m behind enemy lines here. So don’t rely on them to defend you. I want to hear from you in person! I’ll fight the pope, not the priests and followers.
Awesome piece. Your explanation of how facebook works rings oh so true for most people I know on it.
Glad I killed my account. But how do I get rid of this dirty feeling I have for ever using it?
Great piece of writing dude… beneath the satire you make some extremely valid points. The number of people who have commented on this article, yet MISSED THE POINT ENTIRELY (I’m lookin’ at you, Diemf Leatres), gave me a great laugh. For anyone who didn’t get it: IT’S SATIRE [Sat-ayh-uh, noun. - The use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.].
The comments also serve to point out just how many people blissfully click their way around Web 2.0 with absolutely no fucking idea how it works, or what is going on behind the web pages they see in their browser window (again, Diemf Leatres is a classic example… “it’s in the hands of the people”… did he actually read the T.O.S. when he signed up? Did anyone? Yeah, thought not). Jimothy’s comment, from back in August last year, should also be a pointer for everyone: “Ask yourself – why is it free to use a product that is worth $x billion?”
I think everybody on facebook believes that the sidebar ads (which are so obviously targeted and as subtle as a bull in a china shop)are what keeps facebook free. How many times have YOU clicked them? Not very often I suspect. Online ads need click-throughs (ie. results) to make money, and facebook’s server space and bandwidth requirements must be huge, since it currently has over 175 million registered users (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook). Facebook Inc. (the privately owned company that operates the facebook site/s) must have some way of paying for this and if you believe the ads are it, you don’t know enough.
If you wish to try and figure out for yourself just how facebook collects your personal information and what they do with it, I suggest you go to any search engine and search the terms “google analytics”, “metrics”, “data-mining”, “relational database” and “data for sale”, for starters. Then try and put 2 + 2 together to make 4.
As for me, I will shortly be deleting my IRL profile and just keeping my many troll accounts… If they want metrics, they can have them from people who don’t exist.
;-D
One last thing… Tommy v2, I’ll be posting links to this page all over facebook… I’ll probably get my ass b& for it, but I’ll just create new trolls and keep at it, and get my friends to do the same. We’ll never kill the facebook monster, there are too many brainless dolts using it who will never have a clue what is going on and wouldn’t care even if they did. But if we spam the shit out them, maybe Zuckerberg & Co. will finally offer you some $$ to take this down eh? Fucking fix’d.
Peace out.
sixstring
You really hit the nail on the head with that article.
I do have one question though…
How do you know so much about how facebook works if you only had a profile for 12 hours?
The sad part is when Othello dies…
I was skeptical about getting a cell phone and letting that own me, people could just call me and see where I was, and I would have to stop everything and go to wherever they were… Facebook was an easy “no” for me. Plus it is too annoying. Too many applications, too many group invites, or cause requests, or whatever else. The only reason I ever logged in was to reject all of these stupid things. Even the instant messaging sucks! I haven’t deleted it… People still add pictures of me, people still want to be my friend, or want me to go to some party or wedding, or something, idk i don’t get on anymore. I guess it’s still going..
I just got a new Face book account and it sucks, your article is great!
All social networking sites sucks.
Well, some people do use Facebook legitimately. I have friends who don’t use Facebook. I was a little sad about it, because we live busy lives and don’t always get to talk as often as we’d like, but I can understand that. I accept it. No biggie if someone doesn’t want to have a Facebook (or a MySpace or Twitter or whatever).
I use Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends who live far away. I use Myspace for the same reason. It’s funny how some people have one or the other. They’re both almost exactly the same, but I have to have both to keep in touch with all my friends and family.
If anything, you’ve prompted me to take a look at my privacy settings. I didn’t realize that ANYONE living in my city or on my huge college campus was able to view my profile! Now only friends can view my profile, with a select few things available to friends of friends. Did the same with my Myspace. I guess I just never bothered to pay attention and that is no one’s fault but my own.
I have to admit I felt a little weird when this guy from my college asked to add me as a friend. I have never met the guy, never had a class with him, he wasn’t a friend of a friend, no connection whatsoever. I think he just wanted to have a HUGE list of friends. I looked through his pictures, and he looked a little creepy. He had some legitimate friends leaving posts on his wall, but mostly I think he was looking for a massive friend number because he joined some group that was about why Facebook wouldn’t let you have 1,000 friends or something like that. The weirdest part was one day I went to the bookstore on campus and actually SAW him. He was every bit as strange looking as his pictures. Needless to say I never did add him as a friend.
I have noticed how digital communication (which also includes text messages) has reduced our conversations with other to mere sentences. I admit I send long texts because I’m more inclined to want an ACTUAL conversation, but my friends only send very brief texts back. No more emails. It hasn’t decreased my number of phone calls, but I never had a whole lot anyway. At least I can text while I’m at work. I consider Facebook, for most people, to be an acquaintance network, filled with people you don’t really care much about and who don’t really care much about you. Old friends from high school may care, but only in the broadest sense. Not in the way that would prompt you to get together for old times sake, rekindle that friendship, and actually SEE each other once in a while.
People who confuse Facebook with actual friendship and use it improperly, well, it’s their own fault. Facebook and Myspace probably has hindered our ability to actually communicate and connect to other human beings in some way. However, I will not be deleting my accounts, as I said, because I do actually use them to keep in touch and up to date on what’s going on in the lives of my family that lives far away. Some people use the phone for that of course, but some people can’t afford the long distance calls. So it can be useful, but I think it has hurt us in some ways.
Endless useless invites for groups and applications is extremely annoying.
I would take a wild guess and say that your friends only send brief texts back because they dont want to talk to you.
You probably bore them to death.
Its probably for that same reason your friends and family live far away.
I COMPLETELY agree with Diemf Leatres. And WHY haven’t you replied him/her? My brother got me to read this article, and your arguments haven’t made much of impact. I haven’t a clue as to why these people love your writing, it fails to impress me. Your examples only apply to idiots who aren’t much better off without Facebook. I use facebook to keep in touch with high school buds from different states. I ONLY have 60 friends. I feel sorry for people out there who HAVE to add strangers to have more friends. So cut the dramatics. Facebook is NOT the end of humanity.It’s just a form of social networking. How is MSN any different? Idiots will remain idiots with or without facebook. And you had an account for like 12 hours? Come on dude,no wonder your biased, you barely have an idea of what your crapping about. I’m not backing facebook, i simply stating that not ALL of us are mindless zombies who are so easily influenced.Who are you to generalise all users? I’m insulted (if you haven’t caught on by now). I hope you didn’t spend too much time on this.
Finally, somebody fucking gets it; thank you for existing. The pathetic part is that I had to search on google to find somebody who understands the implications of facebook. Oh if I could get rid of even half of the facebook references I hear in a day, what a day that would be. Imagine all the people, living. People are in too much of a trance to give a shit, or even be phased; instead, they will walk with their paper starbucks cups in hand until one day they are forced to really exist. Oh when facebook is assassinated I will no longer see zombies walking in a line, square faces full of ignorance, but real people with *gasp* real emotions, experiences, and maybe even some perspective.
This article assumes that all people have shitty motives. Most of the problems your highlight come from people making dumb decisions like adding people they don’t know and flirting with other guys behind their boyfriend’s back…you know you can do that with email, phones, hell, even telegraph. Facebook isn’t the problem. It’s idiots who do stupid things. Know yr shit.
I just read this for the first time, and like George above me said, it’s mostly the people who are to blame, and not Facebook.
Even though your article does make a lot of sense, it’s not a good thing to generalize, as some people on FB know better than to let it bring out the worse in them.
It’s inevitable…
Quote from top of teh page:
“”Finally you die, but nobody knows because you aren’t around to post it on facebook”"
That sends a chilling message…
Remember back in the day.. Home phones?! I would make plans with a group of people and if you didnt show up at said place at said time you were screwed. The party went on without you. Nowadays how many times have you heard “ok Ill call you back when I get there, or in 5minutes.” I am 21, I do not have a social networking device or a cell phone, just a list of numbers and addresses written on PAPER with a PENCIL, a netbook, and a gmail. It works great.
In regards to JMH in the above post. Maybe people subconsciously make these albums of vanity and whatnot as away to feel digitally immortal.
… or maybe not
LOOK! you stupid person anything that will help us all make friends with the hole bloody world cant be a bad thing………. cant you see the future we live better lives people go on about mobiles for gods sake i have a way of contacting to my son,daughter,etc every day may it be facebook or mobile and i speak to people i aint seen in years n oh “by the way thats coz i want to” not coz i got sucked in. the way you put it!
I THINK YOUR THE BIGGEST ATTENTION SEEKER ON THE NET YOUR SO SAD
said TheBogChain x
OH AND IF YOU WANT TO ADD ME TO PISS THIS IDIOT OFF GO FOR IT ………..PHILIP THE BOGCHAIN HENDERSON
Add you to what, Facebook? Hilarious. I’m not the attention seeker that gives out their real name on the Internet just for the sake of human company.
I enjoy laughing when I think about how fucked up people are. In-Your-Facebook is just another excellent example. This article was great, it pretty much sums up the last five years of my life bashing “In-Your-Facebook”. I’ve never had Facebook, ever. For those of you saying I’m not allowed to say anything because I haven’t used it (and for that matter Tom’s 12 hours), you guys can fuck off. That’s like a crack-head telling a doctor to fuck off because they’ve never tried heroin.
Anybody know that if you want to become a teacher, lawyer, state rep, professor, or any other prestigious position, they’ll check Facebook? That’s right. Unless you’re an alter boy better get rid of those weekend pictures. And for those of you saying they can’t see anything because they are not a “FRIEND”, you’re wrong, so so very wrong. Already hundreds of Education grads have been denied jobs in Canada because of “faulty backgrounds”. Do it, try to run for PM with that picture of you drinking in a car, see what happens.
Here’s some more stuff I find funny about In-Your-Facebook:
-It’s funny how social capital has crashed since the In-Your-Facebook craze started.
-It’s funny that people think they won’t develop psychological problems living a fake life. It’s called ego development. Living a fake life WILL lead to depression, cognitive dissonance, and stunt personal growth. (i.e. you won’t be happy when you act one way, and think another)
-It’s funny that people are so defensive about their way of life, that they will deny how addicted they are to it. “I’m not addicted.” Sounds like an alcoholic to me. Second stage is acceptance, get there.
-It’s funny how I met a girl once who (instead of getting a phone #) asked for my In-Your-Facebook account; when I told her I never had it, she walked away from me, expressionless, like a robot.
-It’s funny how the only thing we have left in this world that is truly humane is ourselves. Not anymore.
Facebook rocks
the groups are the best…..
i love changing the “we love animals” type groups to things like “we love to fuck chickens” groups.
its class…. new members even joint the groups! quality
Dude, thank God there are people out there who didn’t loose a common sense. Great article, totaly agree with you, I used to be a fb user for couple of months in 2007 and soon enough I realized my self all you were talking about. L&G reading this your private life, privacy, intimacy and some anonymity is what makes you original, it gives you space to express you self and stay interesting in real life not total exposure to all those douchebags hanging all day long on fb, looking desperately for some new uploaded pics or some meaningless words. Stop wastin gyour time, grow up, work on yourself. Internet socialnetworking media is a HUGE corporate scam on all those fools just like YOU, every mass hysteria in human history ended up in disaster. Internet is not a safe place. Wake up. I’m not any priest, not any freak, not any looser. I have a great life, nice wife, many friends and lots interests but I suddenly started to experience that many people somehow started to change, fb and other one of a kind social sited do change people, social skills, friendsip, subjets a basic comunication rules, it breaks all bounds and connection under mask of creating new ones, the”cool” ones, “the one and only ones”… fuck . people around me do changed so much it made me show my anger over here, argument saying ” I only use it for keeping in touch with my friends”…how the hell did u keep up with them before, did we live on trees 5 years ago… I understand using of such a tool at the campus but not in the real life. What are you people gonna do once this fb is all over are you gonna shoot yourself. Uh no reason to live… wake the fuck up, open your eyes, pick up the phone, go to the bar, go to the skateboard contest, live band show…LIVE. thank you bro again for all you wrote. we should start some information spreading group that will share this kind of opinios instead of “Mary wants to be your friend on facebook, to see what’s Mary up to sign it or join”(and start burrying yourself alive that deep you won’t see the real world…..couple of years ago after seeing movie matrix I’ve heared people sayng this will never happen to mumanity, impossible imagination. HA it’s here in a very basic for but is , enjoy….
I luv facebook.
It even told me when my brother passed away!
http://mashable.com/2010/02/08/facebook-brother-death/
A few years back, I was told by my friends and some on-line buddies to join facebook. So I joined the hype.
Well, all was well. I put my details inside. Interests and all the stuff. Comments in the others’ posts. More friends? The better they were.
However, it is not entirely good at all. There was some people I hadn’t contacted there at all, and left boring posts of their vacations, and their own private business there. Either they are showing off, or something else. Some of them reported about their daily life every bloody minute. Worse, they could chuck many photos in their profiles and started tagging away.
Lately, I begin to get bored. I’m totally sick with people who posts a huge shitload of videos, and with a load more of very ignorant comments. Racist, sexist, ignorant, stupid, everything is inside. It seemed that it reinforced the statement: “Stupid is what stupid does” pretty well enough. In my Facebook now, there were already SEVEN same videos about a Tenga (Tenga is a some kind of sex toy, btw) and look at how my juniors and my coursemates commented on these! These comments reeked of ignorance!
I had deleted all of my photos, my comments (well, I can’t find the older ones, that was irritating!) and even the news updates. And then deactivate it, and wait for 14 days. I had more time for myself now anyway, without looking at ‘disappointing’ news and without nosing at other people’s junk.