the Tommy|Zor era

We here at tommy|zor love to party… a lot. We’ve had our share of many good parties and many social gatherings with tragic endings. You get to a point, however, where you just don’t recover as well as you used to.

In those late teen/early twenties years, you showed up and drank until your esophagus was full. If you happen to go overboard – that’s a good thing! It made room for even more refreshing beverages. I will be the first to admit that young people are invincible when it comes to partying their ass off. Do me a favour if you’re in this age category: enjoy it! And keep lying about your night as well. I love hearing the ridiculous fucking stories people come up with:

“Oh man. Last night I had 37 beers and was just starting to buzz. So I pound back a 40, ran into the woods and killed a bear… a POLAR bear at that… then went for pizza. At the pizza place man… I was so far gone that I ralfed EVERYWHERE. Then the cops came and I started running like crazy and they chased me for 140 blocks, but I ducked in a ditch and escaped. Next morning, I woke up beside this chick and I had no idea who she was. It was a crazy night.”

This is the point where some of you tell me that you have a friend (or even yourselves) where stories like this are actually true. I have nothing to say to that, except… congratulations?

Sometimes there is some truth to people’s tales

When you get older, you have to find creative ways to party. It really gets difficult to recover in the morning. Personally, I wouldn’t say that I am a party master in your definition of the title, but I do know how to party and bring the party. Time for a story. Back in the day before I was the great wizard Zor and Tommy v2 was just Tom, we embarked on a New Years Eve that we entitled “Fuck the Millennium ‘99″ Yeah, we were rebels. Not only were we NOT celebrating the millennium, we weren’t celebrating it a year early [v2 edit: didn't you throw a millennium party the next year?] [zor edit: what did i tell you about editing my fucking articles?] Our night started with some drinks, then to go cause a ruckus downtown – aka go watch Rush Hour in a cheap ghetto theatre. After the countdown in our fabulous downtown park, I decide to get out of the cold and walk to my cousin’s place. Little did I know that everybody would follow me in hopes that I may lead them to the promised land of another party. It rocked hardcore – especially when we discovered there wasn’t a party to greet us and all of them almost missed their last bus home. I’m awesome.

Yeah, we really told you… millennium!

Our friends also started a club known as Party Club, formerly titled Beer Club. The reason for the change? Women, of course. Party Club was the pinnacle of our friendship because that is where all the drama and bullshit happened. Try to wrap your head around a typical scenario: at one party club, my best friend is dating my ex-girlfriend, while his best friend is sleeping with his ex-girlfriend that my best friend is still obsessed with AND my ex-girlfriend (who is dating my best friend at this time) is fantasizing about sleeping with another friend of ours. Now tell me you wouldn’t want to be a part of this? I don’t think it’s even possible to recreate this scenario on The Sims, or Second Life… possibly Gossip Girl. Fuck that’s an awesome show!

Basements – proving that every girl is hotter when dimly lit

Yep, that’s why you’re seeing headbands everywhere lately (and the reason I want to see a headband…in my lap)

Fast forward to 2003. Harmonix releases a game called Amplitude. After having played Frequency the previous year, I was excited for this release and wasn’t disappointed. I was always a fan of rhythm games, especially after having played DDR to death. I had some friends over and we had some moderate enjoyment out of the game – it was a decent party game. Then to my excitement, I read about an upcoming game Harmonix would be releasing in 2005. I was pumped because this company could do no wrong in my books, on top of which, the game was being published by RedOctane… whom I loved for DDR.

[v2 edit: that you don't mention Bust-A-Groove as your first rhythm game is unacceptable!] [zor edit: dude - the focus is on the fucking party-ing, not rhythm games] [v2 edit: FUCK YOU]

Hence, on November 1, 2005 – I brought Guitar Hero home. Within a week, I had a party just to showoff how awesome this game was to my friends. The result? Many friends began randomly crashing and throwing parties at my place just so they could play. That’s right – people organized parties for my place, then told me about it after the invite went out. That’s when I knew this game was going to be big. However, since the world didn’t jump on the bandwagon just yet, I used this as an opportunity to capitalize on party opportunities. After the success of Guitar Hero 2, hosting Guitar Hero parties became a thing of the past as everybody now had a copy in their house. In some ways, I wish Rock Band was released in VERY limited quantities to bring back that social spirit. In a larger way, I laugh at the number of people who bought the game and realized they had no friends to play with.

Even in No Fail Mode, you’re still an epic failure

Guitar Hero parties were very chill though – nothing crazy but a TON of fun. Moving along to 2007, it was time to plan my 25th birthday. My birthday parties were always known for their ridiculous times and to be honest, I just couldn’t keep up anymore. I began running through ideas: toga party, underwear party, saran wrap, bubble wrap, floor party (get all the tenants on my floor to open up their apartments for a massive party)… and then it hit me. It was time to go upscale: scotch and cigar party. Friends were so thrilled with the idea because it meant a chill time and they felt like they were part of something high class. Also an easy party to recover from as chugging scotch is a sign that you may enjoy alcohol more than the average drunk. The party kicked some serious ass – especially the part when I heard this quote, “If I wasn’t dating somebody right now, I would so be naked on your bed.” I am not a homewrecker, but I came DAMN close.

Now that is one VERY sexy… tie

For all you young people reading this, enjoy your invincibility now; it won’t last. However, as hard as I partied, it is still possible to party hard without the usual formula for ridiculousness. Let this article be a stepping stone for other creative ideas. For those of you who have your own, sound off in the comment section OR you can always email me and I’ll consider posting a follow-up article with your stories and ideas.