Welcome to a re-branding of overrated. We’ve taken our series off the air and onto the screen. Sometimes it takes a serious bowel movement and many hours on the can to came up with a flash of brilliance that is the dialogic article. After the praise we’ve received from the Internet is a Fad article (aka – the 2 of you who emailed me), we’re re-branding our Overrated series. Without further ado…

The iPhone

[Zor] I know that we did an entire episode on Apple products, but I really think this product deserves another honorable mention. Yes, the phone is great – it can do everything from calling astronauts to jerking off your dog. After two weeks of installing every fucking application on the planet you can on it… you realize nobody cares anymore and there’s no reason for you to show off that you have one. Then you look out the window and realize it’s winter and you need to wear gloves. Good luck using your touch screen with gloves on. Thanks for coming out.

[v2] Will it work for a cat?

[Zor] Is that all you got from that paragraph? That’s disgusting.

[v2] The iPhone isn’t worth talking about. Even worse is people that talk into their iPod Touch hoping we don’t notice it’s not a fucking phone, assholes.

iPhone, Apple.. whatever. Go away.

Medical Dramas

[Zor] ER was a hit. Grey’s Anatomy is a hit for all the wrong reasons. Now every network wants to jump on the bandwagon. Throw in some medical terms here and there to describe the most rare conditions on the planet and now you have a show. Give up already! I had somebody tell me about the epsiode that was on the other night (January 15, 2009). What a load of BULLSHIT  – the plot was literally copied – VERBATIM – from the book “Change of Heart” by Jodi Picoult. Fuck – the writers aren’t even trying to get original anymore. There’s only so many seasons where you have every patient dying of every disease before we stop caring. Except for me – I never cared. Just so we’re clear, House is not a medical drama. It’s a medical ass-kicking!

[v2] House is fucking amazing. It’s not a medical drama. It’s a character study of what I would be like if I made that kind of money.

[Zor] Do you even know anything medical? At all?

[v2] I know what the withdrawal method does not work. Unless you have anal sex. With men.

[Zor] Dr. House is amazing, he really is.

Sadly, very few people will confuse the two

Subway

[v2] At one point in time, I was so obsessed with Subway that I went out of my way to start making my own subs to take to school. I seriously believed that I could make a sub cheaper than Subway could. I came close, but it just wasn’t possible.

That was so obviously fucking 1997, because now it’s 2009 and a sub is like fucking eight bucks. Blow me. That is all. I refuse to pay so much for a sandwich, despite their good-tasting nature. I’m against the entire Subway brand, and their advertising. Fucking bullshit like telling us it’s a good item to help you lose weight – one of those 12″ assorted subs (the most average and cheapest) is well over 1000 calories! I’d rather eat a Big Mac combo for that rate, and it’s cheaper.

The spokesperson for Subway capitalism – fuck you.

[Zor] Remember that time I dropped a sub right onto your floor and Beta machine? You specifically asked me not to drop the sub… and I did. Mayonnaise and lettuce all splattered everywhere and ruined everything.

[v2] “Don’t drop the sub, don’t drop the…” *splat* “You’re an idiot.”

Sex in the Shower

[v2] This is overrated? Are you serious?

[Zor] Yeah. It’s not that great.

[v2] Oh, you meant with a person in the shower. My bad!

[Zor] What’s wrong with you?

[v2] Sorry, just a little worn out – from doing your girlfriend in the shower.

[Zor] *sigh*

[v2] Yeah it’s overrated. I find the concept hot, if it’s with someone new, but once you know someone it’s just a pain. You can never -pardon my French- nail her properly and there are no good positions that one person can hold up for long. Add in that water strips out all the slime and you have a girl who’s cheese-grating your cock while you both pretend to like it.

[Zor] Did you just admit that your dick is too short for proper doggy style?

[v2] I don’t like how clever you’ve gotten over the years. I liked you better when all you knew was the warp whistle locations in Mario Bros. 3.

[Zor] Did I tell you I recently found the warp whistle location on your girlfriend?

[v2] Has it really come to this?

Don’t you hate this position in the shower?

Girls with glasses

[v2] Nope, I don’t like that.

[Zor] Why?

[v2] If I wanted windows on a chick’s face, I’d've smacked a copy of Vista on her forehead.

[Zor] From what I hear about you from other girls, it’d be more like slapping Windows 3.1 on their forehead. Ahem.

[v2] Are you ever going to let me live that down?

[Zor] Is there any girl you saw that wore glasses that you didn’t mind?

[v2] Amy, from Sailor Moon. Sailor Mercury. The blue one.

[Zor] I’m pretty sure she didn’t wear glasses.

[v2] I know, but she’s the smart one in the group, the scientist nerd. If she didn’t need glasses, then why would anyone? She’s the “Donatello” of the group. He didn’t wear glasses either.

[Zor] Does this Sailor Moon thing have anything to do with that one Halloween party in Ottawa we went to, where that amazingly hot chick dressed up as Serena?

[v2] *fap fap fap* It has nothing to do with that.

If she shows up on set without her glasses, they send her home to get them.

[v2] *fap fap fap*

[Zor] Really, can you stop that already? I’m kind of disturbed.

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