Welcome to another edition of Overrated! Hey v2, isn’t it nice being able to only write half an article and still please everyone?

[v2] You’re a lazy piece of shit who can never finish anything. You know that? You’re so lazy I had to finish your girlfriend for you the other night.

[Zor] Hmmmm… no wonder why she was so miserable this morning. Shall we begin?

iPhone

[v2] For fucksakes! Can you let this die already?

[Zor] I wish it would die. I won’t rest until Steve Jobs personally comes to my place and deepthroats me as an apology for releasing this into the world.

[v2] From what I understand, he’d have no problem breathing if he did that.

[Zor] Have I ever told you that I want to cut you in your sleep?

[v2] *sigh*

Yes it’s a cop out and yes it’s worth posting again.

Superman

[v2] I find superheroes mostly boring. The most boring of them all is easily Superman. He’s invincible, unless he eats the kryptonite cereal or whatever.

[Zor] It’s not a cereal. Superman doesn’t have enough weakness, especially emotional ones. Weakness is what relatability is about.

[v2] I’m not digging the werewolves and vampires, either. Superman can easily defeat them.

[Zor] I swear, you have reverse ADD.

[v2] I like Gossip Girl, too.

[Zor] Comics and movies have proven that superheroes can be more interesting, and so can the villains. Superman has none of those things.

We get it, you’re invincible. Big fucking deal.

Twilight

[Zor] It’s a really boring version of Gossip Girl with Vampires and Werewolves. Big fucking deal. I’d much rather read Regret Zero. Hey v2, remember that book? I hear it’s going to be released very soon.

[v2] Wait, Twilight is about vampires? I thought it was a sequel to Noon.

[Zor] Is that even a real thing? You’re making shit up again.

[v2] Gossip Girl intrigues me. Hot, rich people having the same problems the rest of us had growing up. It’s amazing to watch it all unfold. Vampires and werewolves…not so much.

[Zor] Agreed. I like how you glossed over my mention of Regret Zero. How’s your book coming along, anyway, you lazy prick?

[v2] Vampires and werewolves. I’m not sure I can relate to that.

I know what you regret – ever admitting to the existence of this work.

Flavoured Lube

[v2] My first experience with a flavoured lube product was this one girl who worked at a porn shop. She brought me a product called “good head” and tried it with me. It was cherry or something – I didn’t care because it wasn’t my dick in my mouth – but some of this stuff got into my urethra and caused a burning sensation that damn near made my kick her fucking head off. Pun intended.

[Zor] That sounds awful. I only picked this topic because I wanted to say that I actually turn girls on, so I don’t need to use lube. I was going to try to work that in (pun intended) gracefully into the article. Instead, I’ll just say that cheesecake is apparently an awful flavour.

[v2] Right in my urethra, man, right in there. Daaaayyyy-ummmmn!

You don’t want to know what images came up based on our discussion here.

Wii Fit

[Zor] Unbelievable – this was the hottest selling item for the Christmas season. A board that sits in the middle of your living room that allows you “work out” while “playing video games.” I have an idea, how about I go cut a piece of wood off the tree and market it as the “Wii Fat?” I think I could do reasonably well.

[v2] The only people who own Wii Fit, are in fact, fat. Obviously the product isn’t working. Why don’t they buy solar-powered flashlights, instant water – just add water!, or elephant repellent spray while they’re at it?

[Zor] I think you’re onto something there. It’s even funnier when the product is obviously Japanese, so it uses different standards for measuring how fat you are. All Americans, by comparison, are totally obsese. It’s really great for 12-year-old girls with self-esteem issues! I heard reports that many girls started crying and developed eating disorders.

[v2] Eating an entire chicken at age 12 is a disorder. Don’t blame Nintendo. Blame 9/11.

Here’s an idea for a workout: run up a stair, then down. Repeat.

That’ll be $100 please.