the Tommy|Zor era

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s when people don’t realize a good thing when they see it.

I want to use chagrin in a sentence, and I’m going to do so now.

Much to my chagrin, it seems that pseudo-intellectuals everywhere are denouncing things that are meant to appeal to our less complex thoughts and emotions. Thoughts of sex, violence, action, suspense, and sheer fun are now being targeted as things for morons, the heathens, the knuckledraggers of the world. This used to be something that women did to insult men, but now men are doing it to themselves. Let me explain…

Let’s take something that I have near and dear to my heart – action movies. Films made for the sheer purpose of entertaining you in the most basic, direct way. People shoot, fight, die, fuck and make you laugh. There is no complex love plot, no Shakespearean layered structure, no soliloquies that transcend the film medium, and most importantly – nothing that would activate your brain beyond what Freud taught you. I love these types of films, because they give me 93 minutes of entertainment by showing me what my life would be like if I were truly given free reign. These movies can be ridiculous (see Crank), nonsensical (Transformers), absurd (Last Action Hero) and thrilling (Aliens), sometimes all at once. Clearly the writers and directors know what they are doing, as millions of dollars are entrusted to them to deliver a certain type of product. They know that the acting is bad, and the plot makes no sense. They know the characters are wooden, 2D knock-offs of human beings. It’s not a crime. This is no different than someone at Pixar making a cartoon and…*gasp* making it animated. It’s no accident.

This is back when Will Smith wasn’t trying to win Oscars (also see: Independence Day)

The pseudo-intellectual assholes now jump on the scene to tell you how ‘stupid’ these movies are. I think I’ve heard it all by now. People on the Internet are the worst by far, followed by professional critics. A bad movie is a bad movie, but a movie that’s bad and was meant to be good – that’s the real problem.

It’s like the haters won’t allow things to be awesome. Remember that word? You used to say that when you really enjoyed something, especially beyond the amount you’d expect. The idea of awesome is being suppressed, and I won’t stand for it. Why settle for something being mature, subdued, polished and introspective, when you can just have something awesome and be done with? Not everything needs to be a Mona Lisa. At least have her take her top off!

[Zor edit: I knew that was coming in some fashion...]
[Paperdreamer: I think she's too old to be on MILF Hunter as well.]

Let’s take Michael Bay, for example. He’s a famous director of action movies. He’s made some great movies, nearly all of them very successful. Think of it as a brand of sorts. When you see a Michael Bay movie, you know what you’re getting. That’s a good thing! This man is not James Cameron, nor is he Ridley Scott. He is an action movie director and it shows on the product. Things explode, titties are shown, people bleed, jokes are made, things explode (this happens a lot) and generally the screen moves really fast to make all of that seem more exciting. Do the doubters really believe that he’s incapable of making a deep, psychological thriller, full of amazing actors? The real question is – why should he? He’s Michael Bay. He makes action movies, and they are full of action. His product delivers. Did you expect a Harry Potter book to have a bestiality sex scene in it, just so branch out the writer’s abilities in erotic fiction? I knew I wasn’t the only one.

Action movies are awesome. They make me happy. I love awesome things, like fried chicken, boobies, Pepsi, cars, explosions, and animals getting killed so they can be eaten (see: chicken).

It’s sick to think that there are people out there that purposely try to make things less fun, as if the world needs less fun to begin with. It’s some sort of censorship, but instead of protecting you from it, they’re trying to convince you that you don’t want it to begin with. They make it sound like ‘If you’re smart you should hate the action movies. Smart people don’t have fun, they build weapons so others can have fun,’ or some crazy shit like that.

I have personally looked up the definition of entertainment. It’s amazingly vague and applies to so much. Those jerks want you to be less entertained, which in turn, entertains them. The way they look down on you becomes more obvious, and they love it more with each passing day. It all comes down to feeling better about yourself by putting down others, and that’s wrong. That’s why I fucking hate those pesudo-intellectual m#$!&%fuckers with small cocks and greasy hair and they stink and eat only vegtables and should get bent.

Unless it’s Glengarry Glen Ross, I’m not interested!

Everyone’s idea of entertainment is different. Some people enjoy live theatre (not I, I fucking hate singing and dancing), some concerts (I don’t unless it’s Limp Bizkit y’all), and some enjoy sitting down to read a good book (!). [<------that exclamation mark means I'm surprised and I think it's stupid and stuff.] Why is my writing starting to look like HTML/?<no idea></endmylifeplease>

We shouldn’t criticize each other’s taste in entertainment because we’re all different. I firmly believe that movies of every genre should exist except rom-coms, and anything with Adam Sandler in it except anything with Adam Sandler in it. Books of every genre and type of narrative should exist, and there should be a magazine about everything, especially about bikini models that are into vintage farm tractors.

So let’s let awesome things be awesome. No one on this planet will be able to deny me the pleasures of satisfying my freudian ideals.

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